im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
