I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize