well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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