I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
