Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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