Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
