I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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