You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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