Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
