she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
