We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
