Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
