Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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