I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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