and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
