TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There's even glitter on my cock...
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