You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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