We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
