I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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