Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
