Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
