Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
