His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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