Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
