sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
