Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dignity is for republicans.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
