addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
