There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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