You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I cut my penus on the lid.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
