Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
