Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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