I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
