Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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