Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I intend to get homeless drunk
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
