in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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