In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
