I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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