do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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