problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
