One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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