Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
