I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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