So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
