If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
