Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the condom got lost in my hair
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
