Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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