toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
