listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
