My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
