The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize