She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
