So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
