oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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