That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
