It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had to cum in my sink.
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