i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
