Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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