All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
