There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Alive.
So much puke
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
